Archive for May, 2011

My new to me toy

My husband is a self-proclaimed geek.  He loves anything Apple, and recently he received a generous gift card to the Apple store.  After very little debate he bought a new iPad.  Lucky me because I got his hand-me-down.  So instead of buying a new case or sleeve I decided to make my own.  I think it turned out pretty cool.  The best part is now I can watch whatever movie I want on the plane and I don’t have to share.

The white fabric is fleece and the teal is jersey both add padding.  The monogram and flower are felt.  Felt has become my new obsession.  I even found eco-friendly felt online.

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At 6:20 am tomorrow J and I board the plane for Paradise (also known as Kauai). At approximately 4am I will give myself my first shot of blood thinner. I have given shots to and started IV’s on thousands of patients, but have never turned the needle on myself. I will let you know how it goes.

J and I travel often (we are very fortunate). This will be our 6th trip to Hawaii and my first trip knowing that I have Factor V. I truly believe that I am lucky to not have developed a serious blood clot. I became addicted to Hawaii on our honeymoon. For our second anniversary we got to go back to Hawaii. This time we traveled to Maui. The first night there I developed right calf pain. I remember sitting in bed testing my calf for the Homans’ sign and joking that if I died of a pulmonary embolus at least it would be in Hawaii (only a nurse would make this joke). I’ll never know if I had a clot then, but I can tell you that I definitely won’t risk it anymore. Now I’m so paranoid that I am making J take aspirin before we go.

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There are countless resources out there for the just pregnant mom.  Numerous websites and books to tell you all you need to know about your growing child.  When I first find out I was pregnant with Lukas I downloaded not one but two apps for my phone (and then deleted these apps before I even left the hospital).  One of the apps even had a special section on food. From soft cheese to lunch meat to fish, you are cautioned on just about everything you consume.  The unfortunate part is that when you are told you can’t have something you want it more.

I’m not going to sit here and say that I didn’t have a sip of beer, fish while on vacation, or a turkey sandwich.  What I am going to tell you is that I can remember almost every bite or gulp that I consumed.  I have played every day of the 23 weeks over in my head.  I will also admit that I complained to J on a fairly regular basis how much it sucked to drink water while he drank a beer.  It took me almost two weeks to have that first glass of alcohol.  I did not enjoy it.  Pain is hard to swallow.

I will gladly abstain from all of these things if there is a next time.  Logically I know that none of this is why Lukas died, but self-analysis is part of the grieving process.

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